These first date conversation starters, from dating expert and author of , Elizabeth Kuhnke, should let you actually get to know your date without asking boring old questions.
So once you’ve figured out what to do on your first date, here’s what to talk about and the right questions to ask.
1. If you could travel anywhere, right now, where would you go?
If the answer is “nowhere”, you’ve got yourself a hermit. If the question elicits a string of destinations, you’ll discover what excites and appeals to them.
2. What’s something I wouldn’t guess about you?
This question has a bit of mischievousness and flirtation about it, and you’re giving your date the freedom to reveal as much, or as little, as they want.
3. What’s your dream job?
You’ll find out what motivates and inspires them, while discovering values and character qualities that may (or may not) match yours.
4. If you didn’t have to work to support yourself, how would you spend your time?
This tells you about the other person’s values and interests. If they don’t match yours, better to know now than later on down the road.
5. What appeals to you most about living here?
You’ll find out what you have in common, or don’t. If you find that you do share common interests, you have an arsenal of ideas for future dates.
6. What are your favourite TV shows?
People’s interests are reflected in what they like to watch. If they devote hours to watching the news and you only tune in for sports highlights, you’ll find out soon enough if you stand a chance for future dates.
7. What do you like to read?
People’s interests and curiosity reveal themselves in their choice of reading material. Finding out what people like to read reveals their intellectual interests and passions.
8. Who has been the most influential person in your life?
Discovering who and what that person did that mattered so much reveals the other person’s values , family dynamics, and close relationships with friends.
9. Do you still keep in touch with childhood friends?
How your date responds gives you insight into how they value relationships and loyalty.
10. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
If you want to discover how flexible, risk-taking, thrill-seeking a person is, this is the question to ask.
11. Can you tell me about your family?
How they answer gives you insight into their background, upbringing, and what they value.
14. Is there anything you’re really passionate about?
An easy way to find out if the person has strong feelings or is more laid back with milder feelings.
15. What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard/dished out?
Why waste time with someone who doesn’t enjoy a bit of flirtatious fun? Friendly banter and shared laughter are signs that you see life in a similar way.