The medley of these powerfully transformative but polarizing feelings can be disorienting. We want to get out there and meet people again and feel open to the experience of love and possibility, but the whole thing sounds like a lot of work, both mentally and physically. So how do we position ourselves and our mindset? Relationship coach and expert, and author of The Dang Factor, Michelle Afont, helped us organize our thoughts.
“The new year is the perfect time to promote yourself to the ‘marketing manager’ of your love life. 2022 is the best time to take charge of the direction of your love life and invest in the best stock ever. You!
The new year is also the perfect time to make the commitment to online dating. (No eye rolls, please.) Online dating is the best invention to have made its way onto our devices in the last decade. Imagine yourself shopping for your partner, while sitting in your living room sipping a glass of wine. It’s fun. It’s liberating. And it puts you in the driver’s seat.”
Here are her Ground Rules for Dating in the New Year:
Especially when it comes to dating and finding love. With the right attitude, I promise you, dating can be fun and exciting! Swearing off dating in the new year is equivalent to swearing off a future filled with love that has been patiently waiting for you.
Do not take dating too seriously, but take it seriously enough to realize if you do not date, you will not find love.
There is no magic to this other than diving in and making the commitment to find love. It’s out there, I can promise you that.
Do not leave dating up to fate.
Don’t leave it up to a deity, or to ‘when the time is right.’ The time is now. If you want to be married, have children, find the love of your life, or experience lust and mutual adoration for your partner, then you need to grab your love life by the nape of the neck and shake it up. And, the new year is the perfect time!
You have to go through it to get over it.
Sure, you might have to kiss a few frogs, but we all have to go through the possible disappointment and effort it takes to find ‘The One.’
Be realistic in your dating quest.
Dating is going to take time and effort on your part. Be real about what you bring to the table in the relationship.
Share a mutual interest with any potential partner.
Closeness comes from having mutual interests. It’s like being married to your best friend with the bonus of sex!
Give it time.
Do not put a timeline on finding good love. There are no shortcuts or free passes to finding the love of your life.
Try leaving your emotional attachment at the curb.
It’s downright therapeutic to date while keeping your options open. It can keep you moving forward in the world of dating instead of giving your entire being to one person who has no intention of settling down with you.
… This does not mean you sleep with every person you date.
Consider yourself warned: sex equates to emotional attachment, and if you emotionally attach, you will not date smart.
Love yourself, take the pressure off, and just have fun.
Embody all the above to create a new mindset—one that is empowering and radiates positive energy that attracts people like a magnet.”