Asking a guy out can be nerve-racking, especially if you haven’t done it too often. The good news is, it’s not anywhere near as hard as it looks. Just take a few deep breaths, and use these stories for inspiration.
1. “I had a girl at a party just ask me to come back to her place once after chatting a bit.
She was very straightforward. I was into her so it was pretty cool for her to just kill the tension real quick and be like, ‘Yeah, we’re doing this.’ That’s the one and only time I’ve been hit on by a girl.”— Will, 27
2. “Just going up and making small talk, asking what they’re drinking or making a comment about whatever game is on at the bar will spark up a conversation. You might be tempted to overthink it, but don’t. For the average guy, it’s still novel. Literally just saying ‘hi’ is not as bad as it sounds.”— Tyler, 28
3. “She came up to me at a bar and said, ‘How much does a polar bear way? Enough to break the ice.’ It’s awful. It’s so cheesy. It’s so bad, and I groaned. It really did break the ice, though. If we both have the same dumb sense of humor, yeah, I’m going to let my guard down.”— Keith, 27
4. “I had a coworker that I was flirting with and spending my lunches with tell me in very direct terms, ‘I like you a lot, but I don’t want to mess with our friendship or my career so do you want to go out with me or not?’ Jim and Pam romances make for good TV but not good real life. We’re not coworkers anymore, it’s been a few years since that happened. But we are engaged.”— Jon, 28
5. “It’s a classic, but just going up and dancing with a guy in a club is enoughto show him you’re interested. That’s very much understood. It’s primal. Just don’t do it at a park or something or a children’s party and he’ll get it.”— Eddie, 27
6. “Something simple like complimenting my boots can work. If you can tell a guy is into his appearance, just asking him about his jacket or something similar shows you’re interested. At the very least, it’s something he’ll appreciate the compliment.”— Spencer, 28
7. “I was talking to a woman on Tinder recently and working towards asking her out, but she just abruptly said, ‘Are we going to hang out or what?’ That was my in. I think especially on dating apps where you can lose someone’s interest in a flash, guys might overthink things. If you’re interested, just let him know.”— Kevin, 28
8. “If it’s something you’re nervous about, just leave a pretty open-ended invitation. Once, a girl in my grad program asked me to an all-day music festival and I realized about an hour in that it was definitely a date. But it was also casual enough that if I wasn’t interested it wouldn’t have been awkward.”— Scott, 26
9. “My girlfriend and I were friends for a very long time before we started to develop feelings for each other. It became apparent I didn’t want to make the first move and potentially ruin things between us, so she took it upon herself. We both love Forgetting Sarah Marshall, so she did a whole movie night and made popcorn and hot chocolate. When the movie ended, she had this big smile on her face and told me how she thought I was right for her and how I’d been right there the whole time. It was adorable. — Chris, 29