Unless you possess the ability to read people’s minds, there’s unfortunately no way to know how someone feels about you unless they directly tell you. And because communication is hard in the early stages of dating, knowing what love looks like can be hard to suss out.
But FYI, just because your partner hasn’t fully thrown out the whole “I love you” thing doesn’t mean they’re not experiencing all the feels. In fact, it’s possible your partner could be feeling a deep love, even if they haven’t yet said the famous three words, eight letters.
So while you don’t want to read too much into your partner’s actions, they do speak louder than words. If you notice them doing any of the below things, the odds are in your favor that they may be in love.
1. They pick up thoughtful gifts for you.
Even if they’re not the best gift-giver in the world, they buy you socks with corgis on them just because they know you love corgis. Know what I mean? They pay attention to things you mention or at least try to find something you didn’t even know you needed.
2. They inadvertently do lil tasks and chores you hate.
Okay, so some people just aren’t big on gifts, and that’s fine—it’s a love language, after all. But if they’re doing your dishes, taking your trash out, making your bed in the a.m., or doing any sort of chore/necessity you would otherwise hate doing yourself, it’s a pretty good sign they have the hots for you, says Alex Z., 29.
3. They try to get into the things you like.
Like, maybe he’s sat through an entire season of The Bachelor and listened to you rant about the contestants just because? “If it makes her happy, then it makes me happy,” says Francisco C., 26.
4. He’s reminded of you All! The! Time!
If they find a way to make every story about you or something that you all did together, there’s probably a good chance they have some feels. “When songs on the radio remind you of her or things you did together,” says Ross G., 28.
5. They find any reason to bring you up to their friends and family.
Literally any reason. “When I’m in love, that person typically comes up more often than not in conversation with my friends and family,” says Hayden K., 25. “It’s like everything you talk about reminds you of a story with them.”
6. They don’t get FOMO when they’re with you.
If someone has the option to go out with their friends, 90 percent of the time, they’re going to go out with their friends. But if the question is: hang out with friends or hang out with you, and they make plans with you instead, that is a great sign. “I know when I’m not having FOMO when I’m with them,” says Matt D., 25.
7. They’re (almost) always paying attention.
While you can’t expect them to have a perfect memory, they remember virtually everything. The reason being they care enough to focus on you. They puts their phone down or pause the movie. You’re not an afterthought. “More than anything, just being a good listener is a good sign,” says Carter M., 26.
8. They let you know they’re thinking about you.
They might not text you “I love you,” but they message you when they hear that song you had stuck in your head the other day or when someone at work used a phrase you hate. Basically, you’re always on their mind. And when you’re in public, they put their hand around your waist and give it a little squeeze at just the right moments.
9. They drop everything when you need it most.
It’s not even a question. If you need them, for whatever reason, they’re there…and they don’t drag their feet or complain later that they helped you out. It’s also a good sign if they notice when something is wrong, even if you don’t admit it. (But also, you should just admit it, since they know anyway.)
10. They lean on you for support.
You’re their go-to. You keep their head on straight. They text or call you when he they feel like walking out of work or skipping a day at the gym. They trust you more than anyone, and even when you two fight (because yup, every couple has arguments), you’re both willing to put in the effort to fix things since you know how strong you are together as a team.
11. They support your dreams.
They’re not about to let you quit your job so you can move to Spain and try your hand at bullfighting out of the blue, but they absolutely would help you open your own restaurant, or go back to school to major as an engineer. Or… if it made personal sense to you, become a bullfighter. And yup, they brag about you. Sometimes you feel like they’re more proud of your new work promotion than you are.
12. You catch them staring at you and smiling to themselves.
If you’ve ever witnessed this cuteness, it’s safe to say they’re crazy about you.