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UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: How to Tell If Your Relationship Is Missing It


Despite love stories and fairytales trying to convince you that you need a partner to be fulfilled, you are whole as you are, with or without your s/o. You don’t have to be waiting for your life to begin once your person comes onto the scene. And when they do, you aren’t their “better half,” as they aren’t yours. And you most certainly don’t need someone to “complete you,” nor is your purpose to complete them. Everyone should be whole unto themselves—at least, these should be the new goals in partnership. If not, and you buy into thinking you’re just languishing until you meet The One, it’s a surefire setup to destroy all the good that the partnership could potentially bring when they do show up. Your expectations of what that relationship should deliver you will all but trample whatever good exists between you.


You Do You
You may be primed to think you need rescuing and that you need a partner-in-crime to face life’s turmoil. You have the wherewithal to show up for yourself and are fully equipped to do so. And if you don’t feel that you are, then for goodness’ sake, do what you can to become that person you’ve been hoping your partner will finally be for you. It’s time.

You are ultimately responsible for your own happiness, fulfillment, choices, and emotional life.

From that power position—because that’s what true power is—you get to share your wholeness with another. And that’s fun and joyful. Of course, who doesn’t want all of that love, play, security, companionship, and intimacy with another person that coupling up delivers? Realistically, you’re going to feel off-balance in your coupledom from time to time as you travel through life together. You might even have to carry your love, supporting them compassionately through hard times, but it should feel reciprocal and stable, as both of you are doing your own work to grow and show up for yourself within the relationship.


Love Without Conditions
⁠Ask yourself if you’re inhabiting the relationship wholeheartedly. Are you diving in unconditionally? You may think you need to be the linchpin in someone’s happiness or that someone needs to be the epicenter of all things. The truth is, that’s fun and fine in the beginning, but it tends to be unsustainable, and in so doing, you give up responsibility for your state.


From Poosh

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